Regarding the Apocalypse
What is behind the curtain?
I have something to confess. I often do not beleive what God says. Specifically, I do not beleive what God says about me. I once heard someone say that they believed in God, in His redemptive power, but that they considered themselves to be like a stained t-shirt that God won’t throw away, but never wears. I confess that I often feel that way. I know that God created me with great talents and capabilities, but if I’m honest I often feel like they are wasted on me. Often my prayers are consumed by me asking Jesus to relieve me of these doubts. This morning Christ revealed Himself to me in a way that answered that prayer.
In the book of Revelation, John tells us that while he was in exile on the island of Patmos, Jesus came to him. On the Lord’s Day (which I interpret to mean the sabbath), while he was “in the Spirit” (which I interpret to mean he was praying), John says he heard a voice like a trumpet behind him. Though I’ve read the passage in Revelation 1 many times, yesterday for the first time I thought about what it must have been like for John in that moment. This is the John of the Gospel. John had been with Christ during His ministry on earth. Now he’s old and in trouble under Roman law for refusing to worship Caesar as a god. I imagine John struggled with his own faith, wondering where Jesus went, and when He would return. Many if not all of the other apostles were dead, martyred for their faith. Did that bother John? That he should remain all these years later? Then Jesus revealed Himself to John. John says he fell at Christ’s feet “as if dead”. But Christ put His right hand on John and said “Fear not…”
This brings me to the word “apocalypse”. It may seem unrelated but I’ll get to the point. In the Greek language, the word from which we derive apocalypse is “apokálypsis”, which means “to reveal”. Today, when the word is used, we think of really bad things happening in the world. If we are Christian we think of the End Times. Most of us have a negative reaction to the word. But the Revelation of Christ, the Apocalypse of Christ as the book is sometimes called, is simply a revealing of who Christ really is. Not a revelation that there is a God, or that God has a son called Jesus who came to earth and lived and died and was resurrected. That we already know from the Gospels and the other epistles. No, Christ wanted to reveal Himself to us as He really is! As the active, interested, all powerful, living God.
As I was praying this morning, my prayers fell to the usual. I was sorry for being distracted during prayer time, for lacking faith, and wouldn’t God please forgive me for letting my mind wander, and wouldn’t He build my faith. Mid-prayer I suddenly felt the Presence of Jesus Christ. I stopped praying, because I felt Jesus say to me “Just stop. Stop talking. Stop asking. I already know. I am here!” In that moment, I suddenly felt the warmth of the sun on my face. I don’t know if it was the sun coming through the window, or if the radiance of Christ was physically in the room, or if it was both, or neither. My eyes were closed and I could feel warmth on my skin, and through closed eyes I could sense brightness growing in the room. What I do know is in that moment Christ revealed Himself to me in a way that I had longed for, and in a similar way to which He revealed Himself to John on Patmos.
In the Old Testament, in 1 Samuel 15, we read the story of Israel’s first king, Saul. He is told by God to go to a certain town, destroy the town and everything in it. He partially obeys. He goes and makes war, but takes as spoils the sheep and the oxen. God’s prophet, Samuel, calls him to account for his disobedience. Samuel says to Saul “I know you are small in your own eyes, but aren’t you the king?” Later Saul blames the people of Israel for his own lack of leadership. He says “I did what God told me, but the people, they are the ones who wanted the sheep and oxen!” I wonder if Saul isn’t a bit like me. Samuel says “You are small in your own eyes.” Did Saul have a broken understanding of who he was, and who God had called him to be? I think so. And I think that false understanding undermined his own ability to see God for who He truly is. It caused him to abdicate to others that which God commanded him to do. This has often been true of me.
This morning, Christ showed me that He truly is present. That He understands my struggles. He revealed Himself to me as He really is. And He revealed who I am, too. Maybe you struggle the same way I do. Maybe you wonder if Jesus really is present in your life? If that is true of you, Jesus wants you to know that He loves you, that He understands, that He is present, just behind “the curtain”. If it is true of you, I’d love to pray for you. Drop me a note and I’ll pray for an apocalypse (the good kind!) in your life, too!